"Going Natural," A Poetry Post

"Going Natural"

I tried to go natural but my
hair wouldn't comb;
it wouldn't comb.

I tried to go natural and
wet my hair with a spritzer so that
I could pick it daily but that
pick wouldn't move;
it hardly moved.

I tried to go natural and
make my hair "black curly" but my
hair didn't curl;
it didn't curl.

Even when I gelled it,
heated it, I only infuriated it;
tried to love it, but
I hated it,
because it wouldn't curl.

I tried to go natural and find my
true self,
but I found out that truly I
wanted my hair to be
more freakin' manageable and
much less unruly so I
went back to the perm.

I don't feel like I fell down to a
colonizer.

I don't feel like I
gave up my
history.

I don't feel like I'm
yielding to a system's
set rules of beauty.

I feel like my hair needs Madame CJ's
press, finesse and moisturizers.

It was a black girl who made the crack that
flattens out my kinky plats.

And I thank God for that.

Cause I wasn't made to wear my hair
so
jacked.

-TJM