"Ma," A Performance Piece

Ma,
I was so busy being grateful,
busy being grateful today that I
couldn't say nothing.

Nothing.

I was overwhelmed by the fact that
30 days ago we were both
locked down in
hospital beds and
subject to team rounds and
neither one wound up
dead.

Nothing.

I was overwhelmed by the fact that
twenty years ago we were both
locked down in
section 8 housing
there in New Community
striving and
neither one wound up
dead.

Nothing.

I was overwhelmed by the fact that
ten years ago we were both
locked down in some sticky situations
that left us
grappling with issues
between us and
identity crises and
neither one wound up
dead.

Nothing.

I was overwhelmed by the fact that
we both lost our mommas but I
got mine back.

Nothing.

I wanted to say something brilliant,
prolific.

I wanted to say something
people like us could feel.

I wanted to say something brilliant,
prolific but
I was so grateful, grateful...
just having survived it.

Nothing.

I wanted to say something brilliant,
prolific.

I wanted to say something demonstrating
how much I am grateful... but...
I was in the back room
sitting with my back
pressed up on a pillow,
sleeping.

Nothing.

And you were at your own place
probably with your back
pressed up on a pillow,
sleeping.

And everything I could say...
has been said in that picture,
two mommas
so glad, breathing and surprised
we survived it.

Nothing.

Ain't nobody gotta say nothing about it.

Nothing.

Ain't nobody
gotta say
nothing
about it.

-T. D. James-Moss